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  • Tara Smith

The Generation of Over-Parenters



When I was a kid, there were no such thing as car seats or buckling up in ranch pickups. When dad said hang on, you grabbed the gun rack in the back window and clung to it for dear life. If your head bounced off the roof, you learned a valuable lesson: brace yourself next time. This was a particularly valuable skill when we were hunting deer or coyotes. If a coyote was spotted, “Katie, bar the door”; things were about to get wild and exciting. To feed, Dad put the pickup in low gear and I steered while he jumped in the back to shovel out cake. I was far too young to reach the pedals, or see over the steering wheel, so I stood on the seat and kept us from going in the creek or washouts. And life was good. Memories were made. There were just less “rules” back then, and kids learned how to fend for themselves. They were valuable life lessons.


It is my opinion that parents have gotten too sensitive in the last decade. To be completely transparent, I must admit I have been guilty of this myself. I catch myself in limbo on when to be tender and nurturing, and when to show tough love. I think there has to be a healthy balance. And don’t get me wrong, we buckle our kids into their car seats when we leave the ranch, and we keep them safe when working around farm and ranch equipment and animals, but there is a limit on how safe you can keep your child. Remember the kid from the movie The Little Giants who came to football practice wrapped in a foam mattress pad? I think of that often when I think about how much we sometimes “over parent” in this generation.


I recently saw a friend from a rural community post on Facebook that she was looking for a used carseat. She didn’t care if it was expired, because it was just going in the ranch pickup. And oh my lanta, the internet critics came out of the woodwork to criticize and shame her. What has happened to us??


Here is my theory on the whole thing: to each their own. If you want to over shelter and over parent your children, then you absolutely can, and I will keep from judging you. If I want to give my children the freedom to learn some lessons on their own, then I expect the same courtesy from you. We don’t need to be so critical of other parents. This applies to all generations. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go point out to my child who came in from the trampoline “absolutely frozen” (in her words) that if she would have worn a coat, this may not have happened.


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