Rising Above the People Who Hope You Fail

There is a certain kind of slow-burn frustration that comes from people who smile at you while secretly hoping you fall flat on your face, especially when you are starting to show success. You know the people. Maybe they’re a little too quick with a backhanded compliment. Maybe they can’t wait to get their “funny” jab in for the day. Maybe it’s constant comments just to make their point. Whatever it is, you know they are not genuinely cheering you on. Oftentimes, it’s our own friends, family, or neighbors. So when they start taking their jabs, it stings. Particularly when you feel like you have worked very hard and are proud of what you’ve accomplished. It’s annoying, frustrating, and doesn’t always bring out the most flattering sides of ourselves. We replay what they said, analyze it, stew on it, draft pretend comebacks in the shower, and then eventually we start to wonder if they’re right. We start to wonder if everyone thinks that way. And pretty soon our mental and emotional energy has been drained, and we are in a worse place than when we started. Imagine if we had taken the high road, and used that mental and emotional energy for better things – things that move the needle forward. We would be growing while they stay stuck.

Your reaction to these people and their jabs is key to who you are as a leader in your life, for your family, and in your community. You can spout back insults and jabs to one up the person, you can hold grudges, you can gossip back, you can get bitter and resentful. But who is winning in this situation? I can tell you for certain that it is not you. You have just become what you despise in them. And bitterness is a heavy thing to carry, and costs a lot in time, energy, and mental acuity. So is it worth it? There will always be these people. If it isn’t the one who has already come to mind, it will just be the next guy. So you have to make the intentional, deliberate choice to rise above this behavior – not to feel superior, simply to stay free and keep moving towards your goals.

It’s important to know that their behavior says A LOT about them. Some people don’t want to see you grow. (Remember the crabs in the bucket who pull each other down when one starts to climb out?) Some people don’t like seeing your progress shine brighter than theirs. Some people don’t like seeing others want more out of their life or their business. But the moral of this message is that these people are not your problem to fix. It is not your job to win them over or prove yourself to them or anyone. It also isn’t your job to allow your inner critic to take the reins just because they struck a nerve.

It IS your job to keep growing and progressing right past them. You don’t have to pretend it doesn’t sting a little, but call it what it is: jealousy, projection, fear, a poverty mindset, or maybe just plain old misery looking for company. Then? Don’t water it. Don’t give it roots in your thoughts. Don’t allow yourself to set up camp there. Let it pass through like a storm, because that’s all it is. Then get back in your lane. Their opinions don’t pay your bills. They don’t take your family on vacation. They don’t sign the checks written out to you. And most importantly, they don’t tuck your kids in at night, they don’t wake up and drink coffee on the deck with you in the morning, they don’t hold your hand at the end of a long day, they don’t write your life story. Unless you let them. Quiet, steady, consistency builds a life, a business, and a reputation that no rumor or annoying jab can touch. Respect that’s earned through integrity, grit, and perseverance will always outlast the naysayers.

So let them be whoever they want to be. Take the high road, focus on your goals, protect your peace, choose your people wisely, and when you pass those people on your way up, just tip your hat and keep moving forward.

At the end of the day, leadership is about staying anchored in your values, even when you’re provoked. The people around you – your kids, your partner, your family, your employees, your neighbors, your community – they’re watching how you handle the hard stuff. And when they see you take the high road, when they see you stay grounded, gracious, and steady, it gives them permission to do the same. That’s the kind of quiet, powerful leadership that makes a profound impact and creates a legacy for you and your ranch.